My Road Rage….Rage….

Earlier I was reading a post from Geico about Road Rage, and realized I had some opinions about it….

Here’s some of my thoughts on this….

1) If you’re being passed on the right, you’re in the wrong lane.

Move over, you’re being controlling and selfish. The syndrome is called “Petty Tyrant”. If you have THAT little control in your own life that you need to exercise that very minimal amount of control over complete strangers in a very dangerous and provocative way, I’d suggest looking at your life and why you feel so powerless to control it.

You’re not.

Start by recognizing WHY you’re taking that action so needlessly, and endangering yourself and everyone around you….THAT is where you need to take action, not by enforcing your power over others needlessly.
You know that guy who struts slowly through the crosswalk as the light changes etc, all the while staring at you, silently challenging you to do something about it, because the law is on his side no matter what the circumstance? That guy who has NO other power over others in his life, EXCEPT for that moment. Yeh, well now you’re THAT guy….

2) If you can’t see a good bit of road between you (usually 2 seconds of it technically) and the car in front of you, it doesn’t matter WHY you’re doing it, you’re WRONG, and are now doing something that should be considered assault, just as it would be assault if you went up to someone on the street and told them you were going to kick their ass. You’re endangering everyone in that situation, including all the drivers in the area around you, no matter their involvement in your attack….
No matter how “RIGHT” you think you are, if after the wreck you caused you saw the shattered body of a child (maybe my beautiful 7 year old) lying on the freeway crushed, would you feel justified, or correct in your choice that day? Would that “statement” that you made to the “wrong” driver in front of you be worth that? Is that child’s life, or any other life that your actions may take from them, worth any amount of “rightness” on your part?

3) Guy in the fast lane going slow because it’s your right and by GAWD you’re going to stop those damn speeders from slicing down the road like Freeway Huns, and how dare they think they have the right to make you move…?

YOU’RE NOT A COP!!

It’s not your responsibility or right to exert ANY control at ALL over anyone else on the road whatsoever!! Get over yourself and move out of that lane, you’re pissing on the legs of people you will never see again, and antagonizing god knows who for what? To be RIGHT?!?!?

You’re NOT right!! You’re just a selfish jerk thinking you have the power of the law on your side and by God you’re gonna use it…..SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN -YOU’RE NOT A COP!!

If the situation seriously demands an action, CALL THE REAL COPS and let them handle it. YOU? Stop starting problems where there is none.
Yet.

4) Guy tailgating that guy above who has the audacity to think that HIS little Napoleon complex should be allowed to affect YOUR precious day with his petty garbage so you’re gonna show him and make him feel so threatened by your proximity and force of will and “rightness” that he just MOVES over because…..what? Because he’s AFRAID?!?!? Is that what you’re thinking, you’re going to SCARE him out of your way?
So you’re THAT guy….the bully who beats people up all day every day when you don’t get your way? That douche who cuts in line at public events because you’re big? That guy who shuts down dissent from others by making it clear your next sentence won’t contain good facts or clear counterpoints to what you’ve just been presented with, instead your next sentence will contain a FIST, and argue with THAT pipsqueak!
So yeh, you’re NOT a cop EITHER….and if you told a REAL cop your issue with the person you’re tailgating he’d tell you to back the hell off, or YOU’LL get a ticket, because YOU are wrong.

So yes, there are all kinds of studies showing the power the primitive sections of our brains have over us, but here’s the thing – WE’RE NOT ANIMALS! We have evolved sufficiently to do one very crucial thing that is different than what pure neural programming instinctively does in animals, and that is that we can CHOOSE our next move. Take that nanosecond of choice, and use it to further the species’ evolution!

Let freeway Darwinism have it’s effect….but don’t let it affect YOU.
Grow the Fuck up, and try being decent on the freeway.

(Full disclosure – I’m a freeway werewolf, but I’m working on it.)